Making the commitment to listen

Here's a great piece by Robert H. Leahy, PhD posted April 11, 2017 in Psychology Today. I think it perfectly underscores the importance of why we must really listen to our patients.

One of my patients taught me this lesson years ago. She had a sorrowful history of past suicide attempts, hospitalizations, criticism from her father, and ongoing joylessness and despair. Initially I was giving her my many techniques and ideas about changing, only to hear her say, 'You don’t understand.' I kept coming back with more techniques, more positive ideas, only to hear the same response.

I went home and thought about what she said. I realized she was right, 'I don’t understand.' I looked back over my life and realized that I never felt that depressed for more than a couple of weeks—and never as depressed as she felt almost every day.

The next session went like this:

Bob: I thought about what you said and I realized that I was constantly pushing my agenda that there are things that you can do to make things better. You kept saying that I didn't understand. And I kept pushing.

Patient: (Looking at me with distrust). Yes.

Bob: And I realized that in my entire life I have never felt as bad as you do on a daily basis. I realized that I was trying to understand, trying to convince you, but then I came to the realization. I don't understand.

Patient: Now you understand.

#WMTM17 gives us an opportunity to focus on what is at the core of what we do – our patients and their families. Let's all make a commitment to really listen to what they share with us.