Natasha's Story of Childhood Cancer
On Friday May 1st 2015 my mom had to take me to the hospital. I had been feeling weakness in my left arm and leg and seeing double vision. When we got to the hospital they gave me an MRI right away. They told me the MRI was only going to take 30 minutes but when they saw my brain they kept me in there for an hour and a half.
They had found a tumour near the healthy tissues of my brainstem. It was diagnosed as DIPG (Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma) which is a cancerous tumour that is really hard to treat. It was overwhelming at first. I was terrified with what the results could have been, I had many thoughts of diseases in my mind but not once did I think a brain tumour or cancer.
Everyone kept on telling me that I wasn't going to die and that it was nobody’s fault, but I think it is easier to blame someone or something then accept it as bad luck. I had a hard time understanding that it was only bad luck and God did not put this upon me.
I have a fear. I am scared of dying. I am scared that not only will I lose the life I have worked so hard to build, but that I will not get to grow up and live a long and healthy life with the mile stones I was hoping to have.
Luckily for me admitting that I'm scared of dying isn't exactly the toughest thing. It’s actually quite easy. Whether it was easy or hard, once you have accepted it you have finished step 2 to overcoming your fear.
Let’s quickly recap those steps:
1) realization (the epiphany that you have a fear)
2) acceptation (accepting that you have a fear and letting it sink in)
And this brings us to our final stage. This stage gives you an option after everything we've talked about, this gives you the freedom to decide whether you 1: face your fear or, 2: live on with this fear and, make it part of your life.
I have decided that it is not the end of the world. It turns out it can actually be just the beginning. I am facing a long hard journey ahead and I know it's not going to be easy. I am still confused by a lot of things but I do understand that I'm not alone. I realize I'm not the only 11 year old kid out there who has DIPG and I understand many have it much worse.
Some days are easier than others I’ll have to say. Even when I feel like I have no strength, no courage I still have to try. I have to try for my mom, my dad, my brother, my Oma, my family, my pets, my friends and, most of all for me.
I plan on using my passion of writing as a weapon against cancer and people who think the next generation don't matter. I mean if we found out why kids got cancer maybe we could prevent them of ever having cancer and then we would have healthy children and adults. I can just imagine a day where everyone had a vaccine as a child and there whole life was cancer free. I am fighting for a cancer free future, are you?
"In tough times when no doors or windows would open to the call of needing, it was the light of kindness that knocked down the walls."
Follow Natasha’s journey on her blog at: http://www.prayfornatasha.squarespace.com/new-blog/